Lore Post: Kongy Ball Z (part 1)
Messages
From beefcat 2023-08-04:
INT. KONG'S APARTMENT
Kong is sitting at his computer, in Discord with his fellow @Overwatchers preparing for an evening of Friday Night Overwatch (Tonight at 8 PM MDT, don't miss it!). A cool breeze billows the curtains to reveal a sprawling futuristic cityscape of mile high towers and flying cars.
BEEFCAT You guys read the patch notes today? Wild stuff.
TSUTETO Yeah, Amp Matrix working on Earthshatter sounds fucking wild. I wodner how that is going to work?
BEEFCAT I watched KarQ's video on it. Rein's hammer counts as a projectile if it starts on one side of the window and slams down on the other. This also stacks with Nano Boost. You have to be pretty precise.
TSUTETO (boisterously) Well fuck, I wanna see that!
Beefcat, Tsuteto, Breeski, and Ninjawarchicken are assigned to team 1, with Kong, Beju, Todpunk, and Jacoboco on team 2. The game loads King's Row, and the hero selection phase begins.
CUT TO: Montage of hero selections set to bad ass late '90s techno music
Tsuteto: Reinhardt. Beefcat: Baptiste Breeski: Mercy Ninjawarchicken: Soldier 76 Beju: Wrecking Ball Jacoboco: Lucio Todpunk: Hanzo
CUT TO: INT. DISCORD, TSUTETO'S LIVE STREAM
BEJU Kong, pick a hero already.
KONG I *want* to, but you already took tank. I can't be my *true Saiyan self* if you don't let me play **Doomfist**!
NINJAWARCHICKEN Kong, we've been over this. You're from Wakanda. Dragon Ball is just a TV show from Japan. It's not real.
KONG I am a **Super Saiyan**, on a quest to find the lost Dragon Balls and summon the Eternal Dragon!
BREESKI (giggling) You're from Wakanda.
KONG This bit is getting *old*. You guys are *old*!
TSUTETO And you're from Wakanda.
Kong aggressively palms several keys on his keyboard in frustration, then reluctantly picks Junkrat
KONG UGGGHHH!
The match begins, with Team 1 on attack. Beju's ball antics successfully distrupt Tsuteto's backline for several fights in a row, leading to no progress.
Beefcat walks out of spawn, only to be greeted by an arrow to the knee, followed by one to the head.
BEEFCAT Fuck off, Hanzo.
TODPUNK Stop standing where I'm shooting.
Tsuteto presses Z, signalling to his team that Earthshatter is ready. With 30 seconds left on the timer, this is likely their last meaningful push. He walks up to the choke and uses his shield to lead the team to the right up the stairs. Team 2 retreats to the point, knowing they can't out-brawl Tsuteto & co in that small hallway.
TSUTETO Come with me, and you'll see!
Tsuteto charges off the platform by the health pack towards the objective. Jacoboco, wating just below the platform, boops him straight up in the air, giving him tremendous height. At the apex, Breeski Nano Noosts Tsuteto as he presses Q beginning the hammer down. Beefcat places his Amplification Matrix right in the middle of the objective.
Tsuteto lands with near pixel-perfect precision right behind the window, his hammer coming down right on top of Kong on the other side. The Earthshatter lets out a mind-boggling wave of particle effects and deformed map geometry. It echoes throughout the game. Kong is deleted, and there is now a literal crater in the map where he used to stand.
CUT TO: INT. KONG'S APARTMENT
As Tsuteto's Hammer slams down on Kong's head, a massive surge of energy flows through his computer and monitor. The monitor explodes, sending Kong flying backwards into his closet and knocking him unconscious. A large orange ball adorned with red stars rolls out of the closet.
CUT TO: INT. EAST CITY GENERAL HOSPITAL, PLANET 4032-877 (THE DRAGON WORLD)
Kong lies unconscious in a hospital bed, surrounded by nurses and doctors, all of whom have ridiculous hair that must take hours to do up every morning.
Kong wakes up.
>TO BE CONTINUED<